The Entire series of Angel and Buffy uber quick
by Together We're Invincible
Summary: The entire series really quickly.
1. Chapter 1

ANGEL SEASON 1-5 UBER QUICK

ANGEL SEASON 1-5 UBER QUICK

**Don't get me wrong guys, I LOVE Angel and Buffy, I just thought this would be funny…**

BtVS show: _GET LOST ANGEL!_

Angel: _Arrives in LA meets Doyle, broods…_

Cordelia: _Tries to become actress in LA._

Russel: _I'm a vampire who gets girls by saying I've got Hollywood connections, then I eat them, now I'm gonna go eat Cordelia_

Cordelia: Ah! _Gets kidnapped_.

Angel & Doyle: Lets get to work! _Go to get Cordelia._

Angel, Cordy & Doyle: Lets open a detective agency.

Angel: Yeah! Lets name after me because I'm broody and self-obsessed._ Angel Investigations opens._

Doyle: Some scary demons are coming to kill half-breeds. I must stop them (but really, I'm just uber depressed!) _Dies_

Angel & Cordy: _Sobs_

Wesley: I'm back! And even bigger loser then before!

Cordy: _Gets visions_

Angel: Wow, that was a really bad first season, lets make everybody think I'm going evil!

Gunn: _Appears_

Darla: Wolfram and Hart brought me back in a box! Yay! OMFG! I'm human.

Angel: Darla!

Darla: I'm going to have sex with you at night to torment you, but really, I'm just getting myself off!

Angel: DARLA!

Darla: I have some sex disease cos I was a whore before I became a vamp.

Angel: I'll save you! _Fails_

Lindsey: I'm so obsessed with Darla, I'm going to use Drusillia to turn her back to a vamp.

Angel: Is anyone still following this family tree?

Drusilla: _Joins Darla in a plan to rule LA_

Angel: I'm gonna fire my employees! _Fire them_

Cordy, Wes, Gunn: We're gonna open up our own Angel Investigations! Nah nah!

Angel: I'm gonna fight Darla and Dru on my own! _Burns them_

Dru & Darla: OW!!

Dru: _Disappears_

Angel: I LOVE YOU DARLA

Darla: I'm just going to do this so you might lose your soul!

Angel: Grunt

Darla: Moan

Angel: Ha, ha! I'm not soulless!

Darla: Damn! Am I really that bad?

Angel: Get lost Darla.

Darla: _Leaves_

Angel: _Has an epiphany or something, joins Angel Investigations again_

Fang gang: Goes to another Dimension

Fred: I'm crazy! Want some weed? _Joins fang gang_

Fang Game: Goes home

Darla: It appears I am pregnant

The Fang gang: HOLY Sh-

Darla: I'M IN LABOUR

W&H: The baby shall not be born!

Darla: _Stakes self to give birth to baby!_

W&H: Oops!

Wes: _Finds prophecy saying Angel will kill Connor_! Better kidnap him then!

Angel: OMFG! He stole my baby

Wes: I have the baby _Justine slits his throat_ Bugger! _Thrown out of Fang gang_

Connor: _Gets taken to another dimension_

Angel: Well that sucks.

Conner: _Comes back looking 17._

Angel: YAY!

Connor: I don't really like you! _Locks Angel in a box, drops him to the bottom the sea_

Wes: ANGEL! _Finds him_

Beast: I'm gonna kill everybody. _Kills a lot of people._

Cordy: I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIES, CONNOR! _Has inappropriate sex with Connor_

Connor: Grunt

Cordy: Moan

Fans: EWL!! Pedo!! _Turns away_

Angel: Now I'm really pissed off.

Fans: Yay! He's really broody again! _Turns back_

Beast: _kills people_

Angel: Déjà vu anyone?

Wes: Angelus may have the answers! _Brings back Angelus_

Cordy: I'm really the beast master and I'm pregnant. _Makes out with beast_

Angelus: Hmm! I have an idea! _Kills beast with his own skin!_

Cordy: Oh shit!

Fang gang: YAY!

Willow: Hello!_ Gives angel his soul! _

Angel: Its over

Cordy: Oh no its not! _Kills Lilah_

Angel: Cordy is the beast master!

Cordy: _Fights Angel! Gives birth to Goddess! Goes into coma_

Angel: I AM YOUR HUMBLE SERVENT!

Fang Gang: Yes, we are!

Jasmine: Yayness!

Fang Gang: Wow, she's actually evil

Jasmine: Sh!

Fang Gang: Never _Kills her_

Whedon: Hm, that the most complicated season EVER finished, so, how can I juice things up! I KNOW!

Lilah: We want you to run W&H

Angel: Only if my son doesn't know I exsist!

Lilah: Sure

Angel: Well, okay then.

Fans: Huh?

Spike: Hello!

Fang Gang: _Stuff happens_

Whedon: I know! Lets have Cordy come back for an episode, then die, then lets have a puppet episode!

Fans: You bastard & What the-?

Fred: I LOVE YOU WESLEY! _Makes out_

Wes: I gotta girlfriend, finally, I've been waiting 6 bloody years!

Whedon: _Laughs evilly_

Fred: _Gets infected by Illyria_! Oh dear, I'm dying

Wes: NO!

Fred: _Dies! Illyria comes_

Illyria: I'm back to kill you all! _Fails_. Dammit, well I might as well go join Angel.

WB: We need more money, so we're cancelling you cos you cost to much money

Fans: YOU BASTARDS!

Black Thorn: Come join us Angel

Angel: Sure thing.

Fang Gang: ANGEL YOU TRAITOR

Angel: I'm not really evil, I'm only pretending

Fan: Wtf?

Angel: We're gonna kill the entire Black Thorn

Fang Gang: Okay.

Black Thorn Member: Oh no! _Dies_

Wes: I'm gonna die to! _Dies_

Illyria: I'm angry!

Fang Gang: lets fight the rest of oncoming demosn

Demons: _Charges!_

Angel: Lets go to work!

END OF SHOW

Fans: WTF! Whedon! You completely ruined the last episode you bastard!


	2. Thanks for the Comments

Thanks for the comments

Thanks for the comments!

I'm putting this up just to clear a couple of things up about this fic. Thank you to all who commented, I enjoyed reading them and by the way I did like Doyle, I liked all the characters actually thinks hard. I liked season 1 but it was no where near as good as the later seasons. If anyone has any requests for stories they want me to write (I'm better at darker, more serious stories) then let me know! Buffy or Angel!

Thank you very much.

SSboy

P.S.

I still hate the WB for cancelling Angel.

P.P.S.

Damn you Joss Whedon for killing my favourite characters.

P.P.P.S.

I'm going to do a Buffy one soon which will be put as Chapter 2 to this story and the name of the fic will be The Entire Series of Buffy & Angel like uber quick so look out for that.

P.P.P.P.S.

Hmmm… I can't think of anything else to write…


	3. Buffy

The Entire Series of Buffy Like Uber Quick

Whedon: Hm… how can I make TV slightly more awesome? _Makes up awesome plot about some teenage girl and her awesome friends fighting demons, oh yeah, and there's this awesome British guy (GO ENGLAND!)_ And I'll throw in some awesome metaphors, and awesome bad guys and general awesomeness _Does so._

Buffy:I'm Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, and you are?

Scooby Gang: Introduces themselves.

The Master: I'm like, totally evil and stuff.

Angel: I'm Angel; I'm tortured and stuff…

Buffy: Hi, I'm Buffy, even though your unbelievably cold, I still haven't clicked that you're a vampire, but shhhh!

Willow: I love Xander, but he is my best friend but he is more interested in other girls. I'm really depressed

Xander: Hi, I'm slightly stupid, I still haven't figured out that Willow loves me.

Giles: Oh, I'm just British.

FANS: And totally freakin' awesome!

Cordelia: This town is really small, the Bronze is on the bad side of town which is about half a block away from the good side.

Buffy: I love you Angel!

Angel: I love you too. _Kissy kissy kissy_. RAH! I'm a vampire.

Buffy: Like, OMG! I gotta kill you!

Darla: I'm Angel's sire, I'm completely sexy and awesome!!!1! _I, like, freakin' love her!_

Buffy: _Kills her._

Me: What! No! _Goes and sulks off somewhere._

Jenny: _Pop!_ Hi, everybody! I'm Jenny, the obvious love-interest of Giles, aren't I awesome?

Me: hey, what? Cool!

Master: It is time to open the Hellmouth.

Giles: I found this prophecy and it says that stuff will happen and its really smashing, oh yeah, and Buffy will die if she faces the stuff. Have a cup of tea and scone!

Buffy: I'm going to die? Really, your so useful, I'm gonna get all angry with you now but I really love you. _Does so._ Oh, and I'm not going. _Doesn't go…_

Giles: I must go! I can't let Buffy die! I will take her place. _Get's knocked out._

Buffy: Tell him, I like said something cool, oh wait, I totally just did! _Laughs to herself. Then goes to face Master._

Master: Ha, you screwed everyone over! If you hadn't come down here I couldn't take your blood and go up! So let me bite you and kill you so you can get Xander to give you CPR and be save you so you can kill me, girlfriend!

_All this happens._

Buffy: Well, I'm off to kill the Master, Mum, later.

Joyce: Okay, honey, see you later. _Wins award for MOST USELESS PARENT EVAH AWARD and the I'M CLUELESS award._

Buffy: _Meets Master. _Hi! I've come to kill you.

Master: Well, I guess that's okay, but didn't I already kill you?

Buffy: Yeah, but, hey, I'm still reeeeaaaaallly really vain. _Kill's Master._

FANS: OMFG! The series is over! Right? No! Will it come back!?

WB: _Renews series_

FANS: YYAAYYNESS

Spike: I'm all bad and stuff.

Drusilla: I'm all crazy and stuff and one of the best baddies ever!

Spike: _Causes trouble_

Willow: _Meets Oz._

Oz: I talk in short sentences.

Willow: Well done Oz! You said 5 words!

Oz:_ Get's a chocolate_.

Buffy: Angel, I want to seize with you.

Angel: "Seize"?

Buffy: OOOOh, right, you weren't there. When me and Willow where talking about this all we used equivocations so we didn't have to say you'd bone me! _Smiles_.

Angel: Whatever floats your boat.

Buffy: Moan

Angel: Grunt

Buffy: Some more moaning… then a grunt…

Angel: Looses soul.

Joss Whedon: The Shits really gonna hit the fan now.

Angel: _Plays mind games on Buffy._

Buffy: Like, oh no, I'm all sad now. I'm responsible for the death of hundreds of people but its all about ME!

Spike: _Get's angry with Angel_

Angel: _Get's angry with Spike_

Drusilla: _Get's, well, more crazy._

Whedon: Hehe, I'm gonna be a real bastard now.

Jenny: _Dies._

FANS: NOOO! _Highest level of suicide attempts recorded in 50 years._

Buffy: I have to end this now.

Angel: I'm going to make history _dramatic pause, _end.

Spike: Oh, but I don't want history to end! I like History. There's loads of burgers or something walking around. What? Don't ask me what I'm saying, I just read this script and say the lines and get paid. _Helps Buffy._

Buffy: I'm going to stop Angel. _Get's lured into a trap._

Willow: I'll re-ensoul Angel! _Fails, epicly._

Buffy: Ooo! Now I'm a convict. _Wears black and acts all mysterious._

Giles: _Get's kidnapped, and knocked out, again._

Angel: Yay! I get to torture you!_ Vrooom! Vroom! Vroom! _Yay! Chainsaws make me happy.

Willow: I'll try the re-ensouling thingy spell again, but shhh! Don't tell Buffy.

Buffy: FOR NARNIA!!! _A totally epic fight scene takes place._

Willow: _Says some crazy stuff in Latin_.

Angel: Oh, would you look at that, a soul. But the portal opened up behind me! SO THE WORLD WILL FREAKIN' END. _Get's stabbed by Buffy._ Right, fine, whatever. _Sulks off to go brood in Hell for a bit._

Buffy: _Runs away._

Buffy: _Comes back after some serious shit hitting the fan. _I'M BAAAAAACK!

Rest of cast: _Everyone is really mean to her._

Buffy: No one ever likes me. ME! ME! ME!

EVERYONE: GROUP HUG! _All make up_.

Mayor: I'm the mayor, but don't tell anyone I'm evil. And I'm actually really clean, see, cleanliness is next to godliness or some shit.

Faith: I'm faith, the vampire slayer. I'm secretly gonna turn evil and stuff. _Turns evil!_

FANS: No and yay, I love her but she's evil but I love her but she's evil but I love _Head's explode everywhere._

Faith: I wanna work for the Mayor! _Does so._

Willow: Oz! I want fuzzy tingle times! _Fuzzy tingle times happen._

Mayor: I'm going to become a demon, sorta like Godzilla, but snake like and with less laser-breath and stuff. _Does so._

Angel: _Get's shot with a poison arrow! _Only the blood of a slayer can kill me.

Buffy: Gee, that's awfully incontinent, because I'm a slayer and I'd rather not die, y'know? Oh wait, Faith! _Goes off to kill Faith._

Faith: Ooo, Buffy, big sister come to- _Smack!_

Buffy: _Punch_

Faith: _Kick_

Buffy: _Whack_

Faith: _Smack_

Buffy: _Kisses Faith, wait, no! No! BAD AUTHOR! BAD BAD BAD AUTHOR! Stabs Faith._

Faith: I'm gonna die now, because you stabbed me, so I might aswell make sure Angel never is saved! _Jumps of building_ Ah ha! Excellent!

Graduate: _Take up arms. I'm sure this is great for the kids at home! HUUUUGE EPIC FIGHTS TAKE PLACE._

Buffy: _whisper, whisper, whisper_. It's the perfect plan. _Blows up demon Mayor._

Buffy: Well, I'm off to College, It's so far from home that I'm gonna have to move out of the house but oh well.

Fans: Wait a second, Cordelia said this was a really sma-

God, I mean Joss Whedon: Don't argue with me!

Fans: Okay.

ME: Ha! I'm gonna pull a Joss Whedon and only post half of this up! But don't worry I'll post more the second half up at some point. I want be a total Joss. Bastard, thinking he can leave Not Fade Away with an ambiguous ending! The Cheek!


End file.
